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(🎶 To start off on a musical note - why not? - know that this article goes very well with the album “A Seat at the Table” by Solange Knowles...)
Gestalt therapy, in which I was trained by the École Humaniste de Gestalt (EHG), is an integrative therapy: it encompasses and promotes the comprehensive exploration of all dimensions of a person's identity. In Gestalt, I explore my client's present experiences, while also observing how these can be colored by experiences from their past. I try to support them in clarifying their ways of functioning, their thought process and their emotions. So, we will look together, in a caring and non-judgmental environment, at everything that makes this person unique. So what is the place of sexual orientation, gender identity, ethnic origin, socio-economic status and all other aspects relevant to the client?
In this article, I will explore the importance of intersectionality in Gestalt, and in therapy more generally. I will return in detail to the exploration of plural identity and to the importance of non-judgmental acceptance in therapeutic work.
Intersectionality as a common thread in my support.
First, an important definition: what is intersectionality? The concept of “intersectionality” was originally formulated in 1989 by the American Civil Rights Defender and eminent specialist in the critical theory of race, Kimberlé Crenshaw. She created this term, in order to describe how different superimposed identities (gender, language spoken, immigration and socio-economic status, sexuality, age and race, among others...) can contribute to exposure to positive or negative experiences. What Kimberlé Crenshaw demonstrated was very simple: social identities that are superimposed or intersecting (i.e., that add up or complement each other) - especially minority identities - are linked to systems and structures of oppression, domination, or discrimination. Put even more simply, the term “intersectionality” means that two people who are different in terms of their identities (same monozygotic twins) will almost never encounter the same difficulties or facilities in their lives. This seems obvious, and yet we often forget the impact of intersectionality on our daily lives.
My Gestalt approach restores intersectionality to its rightful place in therapeutic work.
Before continuing, a few questions: if you are in a relationship, is it natural for you to hold your partner's hand on the street without fear of the eyes of others? When looking for a job, do you put a photo on your resume? In search of your future home, do you put your name on the contact form? Do you express yourself easily in public? Do you go on vacation regularly? Are you of the nationality of the country in which you live? Are you in a position of responsibility? If so, are you paid as well as your colleague of another gender? Do you meet the beauty standards of our time? Are you healthy?
If all of your answers are “yes”, congratulations, you are part of the “lucky few”; this does not mean that you are not experiencing difficulties, but simply that these difficulties are (perhaps) not the result of your identities. If there are “no” votes, you are certainly experiencing difficulties that are unique to you and, in my opinion, it would be nonsense not to link them to your different identities.
For me, it is important to recognize the complexity of my customers' identities, in order to best support them towards a better understanding of themselves, but also towards a version of themselves that they want (re?) discover. I like to compare this process to the mission of a GPS (I promise, the image will clear up...) which, in order to get you to your destination, needs to know:
- Your starting position;
- The place you want to reach;
- The evolution of your position as you move towards your destination.
If we replace GPS in itself with therapeutic support, the starting position with your level of consciousness (i.e. your ability to be in a metaphor with respect to yourself and your modes of functioning) when you arrive in my office, and the place to be reached by the desired well-being, we obtain a metaphor for therapeutic work in Gestalt, namely a real in-depth work on what makes you unique: your identities; which are not fixed, because they evolve and are nourished by your experiences in the present as you get closer to your destination, balance.
In this context, acceptance without judgment plays a crucial role. Indeed, by creating a therapeutic space where the client feels free to explore all dimensions of their identity, without fear of judgment, Gestalt promotes a profound and authentic personal development process.
Acceptance without judgment: one of the pillars of Gestalt.
First of all, let's talk about love. Especially unconditional love. Present in the consciousness of the world, this precept comes to life in pop culture where it is generally presented as a prerequisite for all relationships, often romantic ones. We see it very little represented in friendly and/or platonic relationships and we often think of it (incorrectly) as a condition Sine qua non to any family relationship. What about the therapeutic relationship? You will certainly be surprised (or not?) to learn that in addition to its presence in most of our attachment relationships, unconditional love is one of the founding principles of Gestalt.
Indeed, in Gestalt, love goes hand in hand with support and both are at the heart of the therapeutic relationship. One has to be unconditional, the other conditional. Let me explain: love is linked to your being and can therefore only be unconditional, while the support is with your demeanour and must be conditional.
Let me explain myself again:
Unconditional love and a therapeutic relationship.
The love I feel for my clients is unconditional; I accept their whole being, because first of all we chose each other (keep in mind that in Gestalt, we don't have an obligation to care for them), then also because my clients touch me in their being (reason why I chose them). Additionally, as a practitioner, my role is to create a safe and caring therapeutic space where my clients feel free to explore and fully express their being. This space of trust and unconditional acceptance is essential to allow my clients to feel safe and supported in their personal growth process. By loving my clients unconditionally, I offer them the respect, dignity, and consideration they deserve as unique and valuable people, and I support them with empathy and caring on the path to their development.
Conditional support and therapeutic relationships.
The support I give to my customers is conditional. Indeed, it is a dynamic and adaptive response to their actions and behaviors within the framework of therapy, aimed at promoting their commitment, growth and personal development. The therapeutic relationship can sometimes be confrontational and it is always in the best interests of the client. I deal with it in my own relationship with my therapist. I'll put myself in the field to give you a concrete example: it would not be appropriate, for me as for my therapist, for her not to “call me to order” when I put my personal therapy behind other imperatives; and this does not cancel the love she has for me, quite the contrary... Here is another example, even more concrete for some readers: it can happen to parents of react to the behavior of their children and yet the love, the bond, remains.
It is because this link is present, even/especially in therapy, that I can afford to suggest ways to improve behaviors that are poorly adjusted for the personal development of my client. These adjustments that I am going to propose with a lot of kindness do not affect his being in any way: it is because I love them unconditionally that I want to accompany them in the best way, in his interests. Obviously, this process requires a strong therapeutic relationship and a good understanding of the complexity and uniqueness of my client. So my truth is this: without taking into account their plural identities, I cannot fully love my customer; the circle is complete.
Conclusion
In conclusion, non-judgmental acceptance and intersectionality play a fundamental role in my therapeutic support. Acceptance without judgment creates a safe and caring therapeutic space where my client feels free to explore all dimensions of their being, without fear of criticism or rejection. This essential quality of the therapeutic relationship allows my client to feel understood, supported and respected in their personal journey.
Likewise, intersectionality recognizes the complexity of my client's identities and the multiple ways in which they interact to influence their life experience. By exploring the intersections between the different dimensions of my client's identity, I can better understand the sources of their challenges and suffering, and offer them more effective and relevant support.
By integrating non-judgmental acceptance and intersectionality into my practice, I am creating an inclusive and respectful therapeutic environment, where each client is honored for their uniqueness and supported in their journey to well-being and development.
If you want to find out more about these topics, feel free to Contact me.
